Cally’s Corner: How to stop embarrassing yourself in public
Greetings, funions. I thought long and hard and deep about what I should focus on for my very first column. It all came down to the question: What am I an expert at? And then it dawned on me. I am the best around, the top dog and the big melty cheese at embarrassing myself. I have an ill amount of street-cred in the Department of Humiliating Behavior. So I figured I could—and should—share my wisdom with you, Sir Reader of Northwestern, to keep you from disgracing yourself. Keep in mind, I have done all these don’ts and lived, so don’t feel too sad if you’re eating a bagel in class right now while simultaneously signaling your crush with jazz hands. more 
Sex survey results: Keg dance floor make outs uncommon, but you’ll hook up with a 30 year old
Ah, sex: the most primal activity in nature. And from our deductions you all—well, at least the ladies, gentlemen, and one person who answered ‘other’ to our survey—like to get primitive and have sex outdoors. Well, except for one female who took the advantage of whiteout conditions to have sex in Norris during Snowpocalypse. It must be something about the frigid air as it comes off Lake Michigan and cools your intertwined, au natural bodies. Regardless, the results are in. For as many vanilla souls that populate Northwestern, there are equal numbers of undergrads ready to get freaky under the sheets. Or just orgasm via Wi-Fi connection like one male respondent mentioned. So carry on, dear reader, and learn more than you ever thought possible about the sex lives of your peers (and without ever having to ask the awkward questions!). What TV show characters you’d like the fuck, when you started masturbating, and what you want more of during sex after the jump. more
Introducing Cally’s Corner: Conversations with a Northwestern Neurotic
My name is Cally Trautwein and I’m normal most days. It’s important you know: dancey electro means a lot to me. I find inner peace whenever “The Club Can’t Handle Me” comes on. I’m into journalism, sequins, and candy. If I had starred on MTV’s “Made” I would’ve asked my life coach to turn me into a Tokyo Drift style drag racer. Sorry about it, but I’m also not sorry because I would have owned the streets. more
10 easy steps to making your own Keg
Miss the Keg? Of course you do. Thankfully, we’ve moved past shock, pain, anger, depression, and are finally on the last stage of grief: acceptance, and looking forward. We know that these next couple weekends will be a period of adjusting. Undergrads will hesitantly venture to new bars—Nevin’s, PCo, McFadden’s—and we’ll wonder if that hole in our hearts will ever be filled. NU Intel Video is there for those looking for new stomping grounds on Monday night. So kick back with a pitcher of cheap beer and check out our 10 easy steps to making your own Keg. If you can’t have the real thing, a DIY project will have to do.
Take Intel’s sex survey
We like to think we’re easy to talk to—that friend you can share every secret with. And in the Puritanical culture at Northwestern, what is kept more hush hush than discussions about sex? We’re not just talking superficial stuff either. Sure, we want to know if you grabbed two tickets to pound town last weekend, but we also want to know the inner workings of your psyche: who’s off limits, how long foreplay should last, and what Republican presidential candidate is best in bed. Best of all, the survey is completely anonymous. So this won’t affect your chances at a Goldman internship this summer. Check out the full survey here. We’ll be accepting answers through Friday, February 10. You can thank us for providing another way to procrastinate studying for midterms later.
@nrthwesterngrl gets nostalgic for New York with her bank statement
Am I the only person who likes to relive my debit purchases online? In the middle of studying for midterms slash slitting my wrists in the library this week, I just needed a break. So naturally, I took the time to look back at my statement from December. But now I’m kind of homesick. Chicago is great and all, but nothing beats an amazing trip to Bergdorf Goodman in New York—or the steal I got on a pair of shoes. If only I actually had some time to wear them. At least Starbucks is the same everywhere. more
Dear friends,
Since our inception, NU Intel has fastidiously attempted to chronicle the nooks and crannies of life here at Northwestern by focusing on those places we always take for granted. Yesterday, one of those hallowed places, The Keg of Evanston, was taken from us. The time may come to take an analytical look back at TKOE to figure out it’s true purpose within NU’s vibrant social ecosystem. For now, we can only focus on those forgotten stories that lent the bar its aura, its spirit. Here we present eight perspectives on the closing of TKOE. Feel free to contribute your own stories in the comments. Cheers, NU Intel. more
In which we go in search of stoners on the Lakefill
Evanston may be tough on brothels and underage drinking, but Mayor Tisdahl doesn’t seem to have a problem with lightening the punishments on our local stoner community. The city’s move last year to stop arresting people caught with small amounts of marijuana opened the gates for students who casually toke under the night’s sky. NU Intel video decided to send out our investigative team to find students smoking on the lake fill (because where else would they go?) during Fall Quarter (Winter Quarter equates summer job prospects, which means hellooo drug tests!) Follow our enthusiastic correspondent, Justin Wolf, in his half-baked attempt to catch potheads in the spirit of 1920′s era propaganda films like Reefer Madness. Watch the whole report here. more
Why we don’t care: Brothelgate, one year later
“Three over occupancy,” whispers Assistant Dean of Students Betsi Burns, in response to a student’s use of the phrase “the quote unquote brothel law” at Monday’s Winter Quarter town hall meeting. Burns quickly stands from her chair, smiles at the crowd of no more than four dozen students in her perfect Northwestern-purple pantsuit, and raises her voice to a deadening crescendo: “Let’s use the right terminology here. Let’s not sensationalize this issue any more than it’s been sensationalized. It’s the three over occupancy ordinance, okay?” more
@NrthwesternGrl gchats about #internproblems
NUgirl: happy monday! how was your weekend?
me: hey! it was good. yours? more
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HOW BRAZEN of you Shayna Starr. don't want people to know you wrote this garbage? Good thing I already got ...