Okay, fine, this guy does not go here, but this picture is hilariousss.
Photo: Creative Commons via jumpingspider
Looks like everyone’s throwing in the proverbial towel. The acaboppers are saying goodbye to their seniors, the Blue Whale throws an end-of-year bash, and even the seemingly endless Defining Moments series hosts its last party. Oh yeah, and life as we know it was almost obliterated. Good thing that didn’t happen. Party Report lives on, after the jump.
Friday night: Party at Chicago and Lake
The 7th floor of the Blue Whale throws an end-of-the-year “7th Heaven” event. The party’s attendees—mostly current and former Willardites—have free range of three of the apartments and the hallway, which is a nice change for the freshmen who usually sprint from room to room with handles up their shirts. Each apartment has its own version of jungle juice and plenty of beer for drinking games. “The awesome game” turns into “who can chug the most cups the fastest” and a giant beer pong tournament lasts the whole night. The hallway is host to “slap the bag” with Franzia for a brief moment before the cops invite themselves up to “7th Heaven” to bust the whole gig before 1 a.m. They’re surprisingly polite, asking everyone to remain quiet as the whole slew of underage drinkers sprints down the stairs.
Saturday night: Frat party
A DJ, glow jewelry, blacklights, and classy drinks set the scene for a basement frat party on Saturday night. We’re not really sure if the vodka in the Skyy bottle is legit, but the Cosmos and jello shots are tasty anyway. The guests are slipping all over the floor until it eventually becomes super-sticky. The recent addition of a couch leads to several public hook-ups or at least some aggressive flirting. The DJ spins mash-ups all night as the jello shots continue to disappear and a group of girls declares it Keg time.
Saturday night: Defining Moments IV: The End of the World, the Beginning of Friendship
Three juniors’ monthly party series comes to an end (for this year at least) with a celebration of The Rapture and a “fine art” display. There aren’t any signs of the end of times, but there is a lot of awkward mingling in the hallway, basement, and backyard. One party host states that the hallway smells like “armpit dick” because of the number of people. New friendships may indeed be forming, but we’d like to hearken back to the days of Defining Moments III, where “friendship” was booze-laden sex on the kitchen floor rather than questions about majors or the future. While the pinnacle of the party series may have passed a month ago, Defining Moments IV serves as a solid, if somewhat anticlimactic, season finale to cap off the year. We can only hope that the minds behind it will retire the brand name while it’s still in its glory rather than let it limp to an end next year. Oh, and the fine art (scanlife codes for smartphones framed and hung on the wall) is pretty cute too and probably the highlight of the night—other than the false alarm about police, which forces the shindig to end early.
Saturday night: Toga party
An a cappella group celebrates their final show of the year with togas and plenty of booze. Partygoers strap on their gladiator sandals and head to Foster for a typical basement bash. Beer pong and faint music keep the party tame throughout the night; damage control at its finest. Excitement comes in the form of a bathroom door that won’t lock. The party says goodbye to an era of senior a caboppers and tumbles over to TKOE.
Saturday night: The Keg
The Keg apparently doesn’t have air conditioning because the combination of warmer weather, sweating dancers, and the level of crowdedness make the place a sauna for the night. The dance floor is appropriately steamy, made worse by some of the songs, including the now classic “I Just Had Sex.” Lots of frat boys and sorority girls show up in formal attire to join the rest of the crowd. One couple is spotted swapping gum while making out. Doesn’t that only happen in movies?
