Photo: Courtesy of Creative Commons via 9mm Ed
Putting on a toga has all the perks of “going Greek” minus the sporadic make out with a freshman and $4 coat fee. This weekend, the BattleShots and Burnett’s came out of the woodwork, demonstrating, dare we say it, a future for partying after the murder of the Keg. Fake bouncers and ninjas said cheers to freakin’ weekend while tables were flipped and hair was whipped. Mayhem ensues, after the jump.
Thursday Night: A Makeshift TKOE
After our precious Keg lost its liquor license and we essentially saw the end of an era, NU students paid tribute in the best way possible: throwing a themed party. Hoards of girls and gays crowded into the penthouse of Evanston Place for an evening of Keg-esque debauchery. After walking through the door and being IDed by an awkward bouncer (below), partygoers discover a plethora of Heritage booze at their disposal. As chasers dwindle and the kitchen floor becomes sticky, the balcony and an adjoining living room become the places to be. With top 40 blaring on the TV and a Keg-blackout, it really brings us back to our favorite cesspool at Grove and Sherman.
Friday Night: Gone Greek Night 2012. No Regretz.
The marriageable sorority girls and All-American frat guys pair up at various off-campus houses to catch up with the blacked-out freshmen. The sophomores crowd into one well-known hipster student group’s basement, where boys knock their heads on the low ceilings and overhead pipes. On the way to the bar, the bus driver abandons one southern boy who needed to piss at a gas station, making him take a $20 cab ride to the venue. Now it is time for the main event. After everyone bitches about the required $4 coat check at the door, the Greeks spend GGN in the customary fashion: hooking up with anything that moves, revealing pledge mom identities, and spending copious amounts of money on alcohol.
Friday Night: Cheers to GDIs and Togas
A group of athletes celebrate non-Greek Night with an ironic toga party. While many boys get fully into the theme with various lengths of sheets draped over their bare torsos, a group of girls arrives wearing only white trash bags. A giant game of BattleShots is already in full swing upon arrival, and partiers wander around carrying their own bottles of Manischewitz, Bacardi, and a mysterious pink water bottle that the owner claims contains six different drinks. The party gets into full swing when the Greeks get back from their bars, entourages in tow. The shit really hits the fan when the lights go off and a strobe light is turned on, with several couples seen grinding and making out in the shadowy corners. The night ends at 3:30 with a small group of determined drinkers swaying in a circle while singing “Piano Man” and “Bohemian Rhapsody” at the top of their lungs.
Saturday Night: Ninjas Off Campus
A well-intentioned birthday party becomes a dangerous boozefest, with several large men clearly going past the tipping point. Armed with liquid courage and ceiling fan blades tucked behind their backs, the men leave their girlfriends behind at the party and become ninjas of the night. Silently darting through the Underworld of Evanston’s perimeters, the ninjas eventually reach Burger King and order Whopper Jr.s—nothing too fancy.
Saturday Night: Sweet Tea & Karaoke
A gaggle of sorostitutes and waste cases fill a Willard dorm room for a birthday extravaganza. Sweet Tea Burnett’s has everyone throwing back shots like Pixie Sticks. The gallon of pink drank and the cooing of Kelly Clarkson washes the orange vodka down nicely, just in time for 16 hammered hooligans to waddle into taxis. Upon arrival at Lincoln Karaoke, Destiny’s Child has shit hitting the fan. Pitchers of beer and Long Island Iced Teas are emptied within seconds of a table getting knocked over. One partygoer resorts to emulating PCD’s Kimberly Wyatt while others opt for passing out on the couch. Two hours of singing and bouncing off the walls go by and all that can be said is “Did that seriously just happen?” along with “Wait, did she really just poop her pants?” Back home, one pukey princess beelines past the CSO to the bathroom and a surprise visitor rips his pants in an attempt to out-drag RuPaul. At last, the night ends with the birthday child passing out while watching Titanic.
Saturday Night: 21 Candles
A group populated mostly by upperclassmen gathers in a Garnett basement to celebrate one junior’s surprise 21st birthday party. But the birthday boy and his escorts take so long to get to the destination that the candles on the birthday cake burn down to stubs and add an oh-so appetizing layer of wax on top. Yum. A few enterprising undergrads manage to salvage the cake, but no one really cares because luckily the hosts have not skimped on alcohol selection. Well, we did see one bottle of Heritage, but we’ll let that slide.
Saturday Night: A Cappella Mess Fest
Acaboppers and their minions arrive at another Garnett basement for an after party to celebrate the weekend’s performances. Singers roam the party clad in cobalt blue tank tops, exposing some surprisingly-defined upper arms. In the midst of a game of beer pong, one opponent drops trou with no explanation. Maybe it’s a distraction technique. If that wasn’t enough, our favorite theatre queen bee is seen posing for an impromptu hot-mess-express photo shoot on the questionably clean floor. Classy.
when did this column become “andy garden’s weekend”