Photo: Courtesy of daxiang stef
With true Chicago winter finally rearing its ugly head, party hosts had to get creative to ensure their parties were worth braving the elements. Oh, did we say get creative? We meant “promise sex and half-naked girls.” The loss of a renowned frat is felt hard, especially at said frat’s disappointing off-campus party. Our favorite celeb spawn, however, proves that other frats are stepping up to the plate. Getting into a fight with a bowling alley worker is totally cool, right? Read more about the sad future of Northwasted’s rep after the jump.
Thursday Night: Bowling Brawl
Whoever thought of merging a bowling alley with a bar and food court is a genius. Bowling date party begins on a high note, as drunken students race to exchange their Hunters for recycled bowling shoes, secure a lane, and get more wasted at the bar, which is refreshingly relaxed on IDs. As the night progresses, people care less and less about bowling and become more interested in the platter of 100 chicken nuggets (complete with a mountain of chips and three dipping sauces) one pledge purchased in exchange for all the “fun” the frat had provided him with. Drunchies never tasted so good. Most memorable part of the evening: Our favorite actor’s rapper/singer spawn gets into an altercation with a staff member of the bowling alley. After securing multiple strikes, the artist expresses his joy with a victory dance that includes running up and down the alley, gyrating his body and doing a few push ups. The staff member confronts him and the two square off, both refusing to back down until his date and pledge brothers separate the two.
Thursday Night: Well, this is awkward.
A frat mixer organized by a certain girls club sport turns out to be a bust, with a grand total of two of the sporty girls showing up. Flip cup and beer pong are played with deceptively strong jungle juice, leading to schwastey times for all—or at least for the ten ladies present, a mix of tagalongs, and sorority girl groupies. An old-school throwback playlist leads all the bros to dance in a weird semi-circle around the laptop blasting the music, while plenty of others crowd into a nearby room to get high.
Friday Night: No Pants, No Problems.
The self-proclaimed sexperts of Northwestern throw a “Snow Pants or No Pants” party, enticing attendees with the promise of sex, free condoms, and a specialty drink: the Pink Panty Dropper. The party is accessible only through a shady-looking door around back that appears to be the front of a shed, found only after wandering through two deserted floors of the house. The Pink Panty Dropper turns out to be more orange than pink—an unappealing mixture of beer, vodka and pink lemonade, served by a girl in a sheer, black leotard. Most partygoers opt for no pants, wearing boxers, oversized shirts and leotards, while only two sport snow pants. One brave soul wears nothing but a Speedo, purposefully getting close to other people to see if he makes them uncomfortable. Guests are given condoms on their way out the door, but the hosts are slightly optimistic with the amount of Magnums.
Saturday Night: Where is the Keg when you need it?
The mood is somber at a certain former frat’s off-campus house. While the party was promised to be a rager, it is hardly social and remains gender-segregated for most of the night. However, there is a glimpse of hope thanks to the abundance of Jell-O shots and full handles of Skol. The pitch black staircase (to deter the NUPD, of course—as if the frat isn’t in enough trouble) adds a danger factor to the two-story party. Up the stairs, one room is full of photo-snapping girls and four or five pledges, but the room across the hall blasts Avicii and remains completely empty. All in all, the night is disheartening and some partygoers lament the future of NU’s party scene. With so many recent losses, what more will students have to endure before we can have another good Saturday night party?
Saturday Night: Sherman Apartment Party
A group of upperclassmen kicks off the night with a power hour themed “Shots, Strip, Sex.” This high-stakes pregame includes some extra rules: A missed shot results in either a real shot or the removal of one article of clothing. No one wants to do a shot of Skol or get naked (yet), so luckily everyone follows along with the progressing playlist. By the end of the sixty minutes, the crowd realizes it’s too late to head elsewhere, so the party continues, switching instead to a game of Truth or Dare. Make outs and stripping ensue, followed by body shots, licking, and a variety of sexual confessions. Eventually two girls end up topless, and two boys are stuck in a (clothed) 69ing position for a round. Who knew such a scandalous power hour could bring out the junior high kid in everyone?
Saturday Night: Pajama Jam
Crowds of people desperate for a hookup fill a frat’s basement for a dance party, but they instead are just greeted with some awkward pauses in the music and plenty of people just standing around. About half of the partygoers dress for the pajama theme but let’s be real, they all just liked the excuse to wear sweats out for the night. One pajama-clad girl takes the frat’s religious connection to a whole new level by paying with Israeli money at the door. But, hands down, the party’s redeeming quality has to be the snacks. Boxes of Frosted Flakes and Honey Nut Cheerios line up ready for drunk girls to inhale. Yes, please.
