Why so scandalous, KP?
Photo: photo courtesy of Creative Commons via Michael @ NW Lens
Katy Perry is set to release her fifth Teenage Dream single, “Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F.),” and naturally, I have a strong opinion. Let me start by saying that I’ve been truly touched by my fellow students’ solemn moments of reflection (via Facebook) surrounding the recent passing of OBL. In a similar vein, I’d like to provide a few moments of reflection about where I was when Katy Perry’s previous four singles blew up the radio.
It was the summer of 2010 when “California Gurls” gave us an undeniable sugar high, spawning dreams of our nude bodies being elevated onto wispy cotton candy clouds. While in Lake Geneva, I insisted that we affix the stereo system to our golf cart as we sipped gin and juice and licked frosting from each other’s bodies, paying homage to the ‘Candyfornia’ lifestyle with our own midwestern twist. Later that summer, with the release of “Teenage Dream,” I sat doe-eyed as I watched Anderson Cooper 360; all he could talk about was the escalating conflict on the Gaza Strip, but all I could hear was a passionate “don’t ever look back” as he stripped me with his eyes. In October, when “Firework” arrived, things took a turn for the worse—I was left screaming “ahhh ahhh ahhh” through the hallways of a children’s hospital as my nipples charred, having attempted to emulate Katy’s inspirational pyrotechnics. The following April, the “E.T.” video reassured me that true love with an attractive albino was still possible, even if I had sprouted deer legs on a post-apocalyptic Earth.
Recently, I gave my prophecy for Gaga’s Judas video, and I was almost entirely incorrect. Still, I would like to make one prediction about the upcoming clip for ‘Last Friday Night’. At the very minimum, I expect that KP and her ten best katy-cats will give Rebecca Black the “Hot N’ Cold” treatment—they’ll chase her down at the bus stop, immobilize her, and then spray whipped cream directly into her eyes as punishment for encroaching upon her lyrical territory.
The song? Well, it’s OK. A more appropriate title would have been “Ke$ha hosts a no-pants party, and for some reason, Katy Perry was invited.” I highly doubt that Katy has engaged in any of these antics. That being said, I don’t hate hearing about them—minus the unnecessary allusions to ‘glitter’ or the “barbies on the barbecue” thing, which is a little too evocative of voodoo for my taste. But I enjoyed the retro sound and its uncanny relatability—even Katy Perry must ask herself slutty questions like, “Is this a hickey or a bruise?”
Most importantly, the song has provided some valuable additions to my pool party repertoire. So let’s all hit the (Orrington) Boulevard in our most outrageous summer outfits, engage in an awkward ménage à trois, and recruit our token band geek friends to play the song’s saxophone solo before collectively chanting “T.G.I.F.” all the way to the nearest T.G.I. Friday’s in preparation for summer 2011.
