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Rihanna gets lukewarm with Talk That Talk

The dirtiest pop record ever has listeners hitting the dance floor before the sheets.

Photo: Creative Commons via BlackEclipz

11/16/11, 10:00 am

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Rihanna is getting ready to release Talk That Talk, her sixth studio album, at the end of the week, except — oops! — the entire thing already leaked on the Internet.

Early reviews for the album—like VH1’s which proclaimed Talk That Talk the dirtiest pop record ever, even ranking it above Madonna’s “Erotica”—obviously had me excited. It’s a bold statement to make, and as it turns out, not entirely true — and not just because Janet’s The Velvet Rope gives Madonna a good run for her money.

Talk That Talk isn’t a bad album, but it’s certainly not the raunchiest pop record in existence. Yes, a majority of the 11 tracks center on sex, but in a way where RiRi talks about sex, but doesn’t fully engross in it like Erotica or The Velvet Rope do. The sexiness is brash and assertive, which makes for great quoting and listening, but it misses the sensual aspect of sexiness.

However, just like Good Girl Gone Bad and Loud, the album is full of songs that will be great fun to listen to. And because you’ll be wondering which songs to listen to first after you download the leaked album, here’s a track-by-track analysis.

1. “You Da One” : In the album’s second single, Rihanna croons to some lover about how she can’t get him off her mind. Most exciting part of the song? Rihanna borrows the famous Whitney line, “My love is your love.” Nice beat—conducive to baby making—and the song grows on you after listening to it a few times.

2. “Where Have You Been” : Simply put, one of the best songs Rihanna’s ever recorded. Her biggest club-banger and earworm since “Don’t Stop The Music.” Standout track.

3. “We Found Love (feat. Calvin Harris)”: The album’s first single. If you don’t know what it sounds like by now, go back under the rock from whence you came.

4. “Talk That Talk (feat. Jay-Z)” : Honestly, I don’t remember making it through this song because once Jay-Z’s now-laughable rapping is added to a song, it’s rendered irrelevant.

5. “Cockiness (Love It)” : Same producer as Beyoncé’s “Diva,” which is to say this is a gem. RiRi stutter-repeats “I love it when you eat it” throughout, and she’s not talking about a Twinkie. Expect to see “Suck my cockiness, lick my persuasion” plastered all over your News Feed after this reaches the masses.

6. “Birthday Cake” : Sadly, only an interlude. One of the best tracks, the track probably favored heavily into VH1′s glowing review. It’s a sexy song that talks about sex and uses cake as an extended metaphor. Oh yeah, and it includes the line, “I wanna fuck you right now.”

7. “We All Want Love” : I can only say this is a really fucking good song. Rihanna’s not known for her vocals, but they sound really good on this softer track. It sobers you up after the onslaught of explicit content in the two previous songs.

8. “Drunk On Love” : The “Complicated” of this album; a midtempo ballad that’s hit or miss. Some will like it, some will complain about her vocal performance, some will complain about/love the xx sample.

9. “Roc Me Out” : Another song about sex. There’s a rock edge to it and she’s assertive throughout, but it’d probably work better if it were a slow jam.

10. “Watch n’ Learn” : It has an island/reggae-vibe going on. I didn’t really pay much attention to the track, but it describes how she wants to fuck.

11. “Farewell” : Ha, an album-closer titled “Farewell.” I see what you did there. Another midtempo ballad-y song. Like “We All Want Love,” it’s a nice sobering experience after listening to a set of sex-and-dance songs. And it’s a slightly more mature track than anything I’ve heard from her since “Rated R.” One of the songs you’ll want to sing along to in the car.

Actually, the entire album is just that. It’s a well-crafted pop record that’s sexual, sexy, and fun. Talk that Talk should provide a few more hit singles for our favorite Barbadian.

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