Tuesday night rolls around, and Bar Louie’s Dollar Burger Night seems like a tempting option. That said, the deal—a naked burger for one dollar, as stated, if you order a drink—could be a classic example of bait-and-switch, and Bar Louie isn’t exactly known for its culinary finesse (here’s where you can find the really good stuff, if you’re so inclined). So how do you get the most out of it? To help you out, here’s a log of my first venture into this carnivore’s playground, with some tips for taking advantage of the deal. I welcome you to learn from my mistakes—that is, unless you want to spend all your money getting drunk. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
Rule #1: Get there late.
From the outside, the place looks packed. But don’t turn back yet—the turnover is fast, and you’ll likely get a table. I arrive at around 8:00 with a friend, and though we wait at the bar, a table for two near the window opens up within minutes. The bartender informs me that the busiest hours are from 7:00 to 9:00, usually on the earlier end. Either way, you should never expect to wait more than 20 minutes. And if you’re looking for a midnight snack, the burgers are available until 2.a.m, the nightly closing time.
Half of the restaurant is decorated with run-of-the-mill Halloween decorations (spiders, cobwebs), and the other with a few random white sheets. “The theme is angels and demons,” the bartender says after noticing my bewilderment. It’s not my favorite, but let’s be frank: I didn’t come to an event called “Dollar Burger Night” for the ambiance.
The bartender asks us about drinks (since you must buy at least one). Mistake #1: I spring for a Newcastle ($5) without asking about the drink specials. In a remarkable display of self-control, my friend sticks with an iced tea that nets about half the price. There’s a practical way to do dollar burgers, and then there’s what I typically do: drink everything in sight.
Rule #2: Screw the toppings.
Though I haven’t seen an actual burger, I’m already wondering if I’ll be ripped off. The bartender admits that selling drinks is the strategy, but he adds that the average bill on Tuesday nights is significantly lower than on the others. (The sheer volume of customers makes the event profitable for the restaurant.)
I smirk at the menu insert solely dedicated to this weekly ritual: Only lettuce and a bun are included in the $1 base price of the burger. It’s kind of like buying a new car without anti-lock brakes. I spring for mushrooms and Swiss—that’s another dollar. For the most filling burger, I would suggest the more caloric toppings like guacamole or bacon over the watery 50-cent tomato slice. And while the extensive topping list may look fascinating, it’s important to remember that another plain burger would only cost another dollar.
Rule #3: Stuff your face.
The now-two-dollar burger arrives around the same time that I finish my beer. “Yeah, sure, what are the specials again?” I easily succumb to the retail strategy. The Woodchuck hard cider ($3) seems appealing enough and turns out to be a nice surprise.
I move my focus back to the burger. It’s substantially sized and fairly tasty, though I’m a bit disappointed by the cold bun. Still a great value, but a bit unexpected from a restaurant with a full menu. (Is there an extra toasting surcharge?)
I inhale the burger in five minutes. I contemplate ordering another and wonder how many I could devour on a drunkenly ravenous night. The bartender explains that the record for any one person is six (his group of five ate 26) and that the record for an entire Tuesday night is 600. I think back to a particular Thursday night at a popular Mexican restaurant Madison, where I started my college career, when I tried and failed to down an entire pitcher of strawberry margarita with tacos al pastor.
“Did the guy puke?” I ask the bartender. No, he says, “but he was a pretty big guy—a linebacker on the football team.” Suddenly I feel inadequate.
Rule #4: Don’t feel guilty about over-spending.
While the bartender kindly answers my questions, I order another cider ($3) to buy some time and take my last look around. The girls beside me accept a round of Jager bombs from older guys at another table, and the couple on my opposite side becomes intimate over their order of chicken nachos. The Northwestern crowd has dwindled by this point. The cider helps me not care, and I nonchalantly acknowledge the arrival of the bill.
With tax and tip, I owe about $16 for my burger and three drinks. My friend owes $4. I had been expecting to go over budget, but my tab seems exorbitant for an event billed as a bargain. If you are trying to save a few bucks, the last few drinks can be avoided. But if you do rack up a tab, like me, try to remind yourself that at least the burger was cheap. Enjoy the buzz.
Though Burger King remains the only Evanston establishment to offer a caveat-free dollar burger, Bar Louie’s Tuesday night deal has its advantages over the home of the neon-yellow bun. If you’re trying to be budget-minded, just make sure to stick to one drink (Esquire-approved!)—ideally the one that’s on special. And be sure to drink enough that you’ll forget you’re actually hanging out with townies at a chain restaurant on a Tuesday night.
What the hell do the decorations have to do with arriving late? Pretentious writing.
Fix your hyperlinks.
Yes, all the writing on this site oozes pretension. Very off-putting.
You want pretension? Try talking to the Daily kids, editors and columnists. North by Northwestern is my poison of choice when it comes to reading NU-produced material but this site is sort of refreshing. The sports page is full of good writing and the web design is slick. Don’t get hung up on one article.