My name is Cally Trautwein and I’m normal most days. It’s important you know: dancey electro means a lot to me. I find inner peace whenever “The Club Can’t Handle Me” comes on. I’m into journalism, sequins, and candy. If I had starred on MTV’s “Made” I would’ve asked my life coach to turn me into a Tokyo Drift style drag racer. Sorry about it, but I’m also not sorry because I would have owned the streets.
I have flaming ginger hair and sometimes people tell me I look like Ron Weasley. Never Ginny Weasly – always Ron. I’m what the French call les Incompetents. Don’t believe me? Ask the dishes. I wish I’d been a teen in the 80′s or the 1770′s – I would have equally enjoyed dancing like a loon to Madonna at my prom and leading boycotts of the Townshend Acts. Most of my clothes are from Forever 21, and I turned 21 in January; part of me believes some of the store’s bargain voodoo magic will preserve my youth interminably. Did you know that clap-on, clap-off lights respond to noise, so yelling “Lumos” and “Nox” works just as well?
Through this column, I hope to answer many of your fiery, hardball lifestyle questions: how long exactly does it take to get from University to Annenberg, taking Sheridan at a light gallop with light wind resistance? What song will restore your faith in humanity after a particularly emotionally destructive Kellogg study? Are capris ever going to happen? The answer to that last is no, definitely not. But the others, and many more, I’ll investigate in a sad and whimsical little way, for you, the dearly beloved reader. May fair winds guide us both on our journeys today and always! Adieu for now, you silly geese.
This rules.
cant wait
gOofY. i like you
CALLY, I’m digging the hat and can’t wait to read your column~
so excited Cal!
This is marvelous, I want more
I just laughed so hard. I can only second all the others above me and say I can’t wait for more!
…this is really kinda lame :-/
trying too hard.
JN.
Who the fuck are you.
Go home.