Photo: Courtesy of Flickr user tuxthepenguin84
Was it navigating Sex Week, ASG Elections, and A&O Ball that left us so exhausted last week? Maybe. But it was more likely the unusual difficulty of smuggling a flask on to the chartered school bus to the Riv, or the cockblockers, or those cupcake-spewing a cappella kids. We did, however, get drunk enough to ask Austin Young how he keeps his teeth so darn white. The answer (and Party Report), after the jump.
Thursday night: Sorority Crush Party
We’re usually not enthused about themed parties, but a “You are what you drink” theme is something even we can get a little excited about. Our personal favorite? One sophomore’s Irish Car Bomb outfit complete with a kelly green sweatshirt, two green Mardi Gras bead necklaces, an Illinois license plate, and a mirror. Brilliant. The bouncers are (surprise!) easy on the carding, but insist upon patting down all of the male attendees who intend on entering as 21+. This is a function hall, not an airport. Despite the DJ’s insistence on playing “Apple Bottom Jeans” several times, the dance floor heats up. There’s a surprising number of partygoers sporting casts and crutches, one person on crutches engages in a full-on dance floor make out. Talk about impressive! As if that isn’t enough excitement, the newly elected ASG Prez and VP are on the dance floor. In our drunken stupor, we muster up the courage to ask Austin the all-important question: “How do you keep your teeth so white?” He says just regular brushing and flossing. We need to get a hold of some of that toothpaste!
Friday night: Girl Talk
Nothing unifies Northwestern’s undergraduate body like $10 concert tickets a show in Chicago, especially one with the potential to be equal parts booze fest and rave. As usual, A&O hires strong-armed security for the buses who make sure no one brings a flask, but when attendees arrive at the Riveria, they encounter two older women in charge of handing out wristbands, who look more like grandmas than bouncers. Most students arrive after The Walkmen finish their set, and just in time for Girl Talk. Gregg Gillis takes the stage in a sweatshirt and sweatpants—no need to dress up or anything—and as soon as the music starts blasting a swarm of students have pushed and elbowed their way onto the stage. Glory at its finest. The event lives up to its billing, and most students seem to enjoy themselves. Could it be the prevalence of pot smoke, or the confetti, giant balls, and balloons that fell from the ceiling? An hour and a half into the concert, we have an epiphany we’ve been bumping and grinding to a skinny, long-haired twenty something who just pressed play on his laptop to his own prerecorded mash ups.
Friday night: Post-gaming Girl Talk
Tired but still energized from the Riviera, the dance party continues in a fraternity’s upstairs chapter room. Attendance is pretty much composed of brothers and their assorted lady friends, meaning booze is plentiful. Shots of Smirnoff go around, and a few keep it classy with Pinot Noir. The room probably has the best set-up possible for a fraternity house, with club lights and a sick speaker system. Every so often someone hits the lights so that the room plunges in to frenzied darkness, and everyone begins hooking up, until a second later the lights come back on and people pull apart. The most fascinating aspect is possibly the music selection. As the track changes from Kanye’s All of the Lights suddenly to The Foundation’s Build Me Up Buttercup, it turns out everyone in the room knows the words, scarily enough. True brotherhood lies in song.
Saturday night: Defining Moment III: Positive Connections
What some think is a self-image improvement workshop turns out to be the third part of a couple of junior’s monthly themed party series. A mix of NU’s finest hipsters and music-junkies are in attendance, though one plaid-clad, glasses-wearing attendee is overheard saying: “I thought there would be so many more hipsters, I dressed aiming to fit in!” The night would have been just like any other Saturday night were it not fur the invention of “FriendPong,” which might be credited as the most positive drinking game ever played, ending with all players shouting, “But we’re still friends!”
Saturday night: “South of the Border” themed frat party
Attendees aren’t sure what kind of Tex-mex costume to wear to a “South of the Border” on-campus frat party. Most opt out, but some show up in sombreros and fake mustaches, making us wonder if we’ll be getting another unintentionally hilarious email from Burgie warning us about respect and cultural differences. The turnout remains strong as word of the plentiful alcohol spreads, including a drink called as “smurf shots.” We’re not sure what gave the shot the fruity taste or blue color, but, damn, was it delicious. After many games of flip cup, the party’s stragglers decide to take pictures against the backdrop of an overly-enthusiastic couple going at it against the wall. The couple attempts to shift their activities to a couch in the back (much classier) but some brothers decide to intervene and tell them enough is enough, which is, like, a total cock block but definitely understandable.
Saturday night: A Cappella After Party
A Northwestern a cappella group teams up with Miami University of Ohio’s The Mergers to take projectile vomit to another level. Ridge and Davis reaches theatre overload as acaboppers pound shots to celebrate a great show. Next to the arrangement of handles and chasers is a lovely assortment of cupcakes that strikes some party goers with a vengeance at the end of the night. Outside their window, one couple spots a puker on the balcony, completing interrupting their face-sucking session. Meanwhile, another mess maker spews funfetti cupcake next to the stairs after finishing a keg stand. A few more games of flip cup go by until it is time to tear up The Keg.
