Most Northwestern students probably just walk right past the signs advertising tarot card and astrology readings outside Crossroads Trading Co. on Sherman Ave., but we decided to head upstairs and see what it’s all about. It turns out the “psychic” operates her business out of a hallway closet in her family’s apartment. The sky-blue walls peppered with giant sponge-painted clouds tackily compliment the angel figurines that hang from the ceiling and cherub cut-outs glued to the walls. But the 2008 calendar from a Chinese restaurant and the Taco Bell receipts on the floor ruin the mystical vibe she seems to be trying so hard for.
3:05 p.m. The woman conducting the readings gestures for me sit down in the room. She asks me to think of two questions I want answered, and then says she’ll be right back. As soon as the door shuts behind her, I hear her yelling at her sons to pick up their school bags. I wonder how those boys feel about their mother’s work.
3:07 Naturally, I ask about my future success, so she counters by asking my major. Journalism, I tell her. “Oh, yes, I knew you were a journalism major,” she says. “I just didn’t want to say it.” But you asked, right?
3:10 “You’re trying too hard to make your spirit fit your body when you need to let your body fit your spirit,” she advises. Is this the cosmos way of encouraging me to eat more hot cookie bar? If so, I’m in.
3:12 Apparently, a negative energy left over from some past life has been following me since birth which will cause me to fail at everything I do. But, for the low price of $90, I can have my astrological chart drawn up for a “spiritual cleansing.” I guess I’ll just have to keep suffering.
3:14 She now begins to query further my second question about finding a soulmate. She says I need to learn how to love, hurt, be disappointed and most importantly, how to feel passion and lust. This is awkward.
3:16 Finally, it’s time for some specifics. The psychic says I will meet my soulmate in five years. He’ll be brunette, successful and out of my league until I win him over with my personality. Now that’s the kind of ending any girl likes to hear. But it also conveniently doubles as the plot for most romantic comedies.
