Photo: Graphic: Amy Wecker
Your pen is poised above the empty box next to Spain, but then you wonder if it’s too cliché — sightings of camera-touting tourists are likely to outnumber the much more exciting sightings of local residents. Maybe a more unbeaten path like Ghana? Or screw it, stumbling on every other word in a foreign language would cramp your exotic social life, so maybe stick with an English-speaking country? After consulting resources within our circles of cultured, arrogant stuck ups and worldly hippies, Intel’s got you covered with this guide to study abroad locales, and what each destination says about your power animal.
London
London is at best a very thinly veiled attempt to hide that you do not give a shit about the type of program you want. You never took a language at Northwestern and study abroad is more of an extended summer vacation rather than an actual working experience. Have fun ogling Will and Kate from your uncle and aunt’s flat.
Paris
Finally you have an excuse to dust off that beret and put it to good use. It’s high time to flaunt your pretentious ass, and love it. But the time will come when the sad reality hits you, the reality that by Northwestern campus standards you might be cute and edgy, but your shameful sweatpants will ultimately be judged in Paris.
Barcelona
Your theme song is “Party Rock” and you’re always the first one to jump the fence at The Keg. It’s obvious that you will be working hard to raise your alcohol tolerance and become a sloppy wino at the party capital. You like to abbreviate phrases in everyday life, ‘cause it’s “Barce” for those in the know.
Istanbul
Typical study abroad locales are not your style, and you dare to break out of your comfort zone and head directly into the “Middle East.” That being said, you don’t stray too far into the actual war zone part of Middle East with this gentrified choice, where it is basically Europe without the English-speaking part. You will scoff when friends talk about sightseeing and visiting the Eiffel Tower, but you know you’re going to visit the Hagia Sophia and Blue Mosque a minimum of three times each.
South Africa
You want the Bear Grylls-approved, outdoorsy experience, so you venture to the true motherland of all civilization. But you want to avoid all that pressure of making new friends, so where do you go? Head to Jo’burg or Cape Town with a hoard of Medildos or SESP kids, and pretend study abroad is an exotic version of ASB.
Croatia
It’s time to do summer right, with this alternative study abroad experience. Known for their basketball players, magnificent beaches, and history, Croatia is the place to be; especially if you are party savvy enough, and willing to ditch the courses. Instead consider climbing aboard a yacht for the legendary Yacht Week 2012.
Cuba
You want to stick it to the man and prove that while Uncle Sam doesn’t want you to vacation in Cuba, you can find your own loophole to the socialist paradise. It’s a great way to party in a tropical version of the ‘50s without having your parents raise their eyebrows. And then there’s the added benefit of getting rid of that sick, pasty skin you developed from years of attending the icy tundra that is Northwestern.
Uganda
Guys, it’s the developing world, third world was so Cold War. But let’s face it, you’re entirely too excited to come back and make your profile picture a photo of you and an African child.
Way to generalize NU Intel. This is probably one of the least intelligent articles I’ve ever read. Time for me (and everybody else) to stop accessing it.