The Gender Studies Undergraduate Board brought performance artist and gender theorist Kate Bornstein to campus yesterday, and aside from a night show, Bornstein led a workshop on Monday morning on how to have a gender-free orgasm. The invite: “Could it really be possible to have an orgasm with your clothes on and without touching yourself or being touched by anyone else? Can you really reach ecstasy simply by breathing?” The whole thing sounded like it would either be gender studies, lovey-feely bullshit or a potentially amazing experience à la 40 Days and 40 Nights. Never one to deny myself of an orgasm, I RSVPed and brought a towel (as requested) to Kresge. After the jump, what the hell having a gender-free orgasm actually means.
10:00 a.m. I walk into the classroom to see the tables pushed to the windows. About twelve people sit in a circle on the floor, with the middle-aged, tattooed Bornstein at the wall. We do some introductions, and Bornstein points to a box of tissues. “These are for you guys,” she says. She pauses. “No, just kidding. We won’t need them.”
10:07 Bornstein starts the workshop off with a lovely ice-breaking question: “How many of you guys masturbated as young children? Maybe in junior high?” Everybody peers around the room as they try to discreetly raise their hand. And duh, everyone has masturbated. Bornstein predicts that we probably all did in secret, and as a result, had to keep quiet or hold our breath. “You’re going to learn how to breathe today.”
10:10 Apparently we’ve all had the experience of the gender-free orgasm before. Ever have an uncontrollable fit of laughter? A temper tantrum? The tingly after-effect—she lets out a deep, throaty sigh and shivers a little to demonstrate—feels similar to the orgasm.
10:20 Breathing properly, as it turns out, is the biggest part of reaching the full-body, non-genital orgasm: “Open your mouth like you’re yawning. Use the back of your throat. Like you’re about to deep throat.”
10:25 We get introduced to aspect number two: PC contractions, or Kegels—a name Bornstein hates. “Doctor Kegel named them after himself because he ‘discovered’ them. He probably was just in the bathroom one day when someone walked in. Then he named the contraction he had after himself.” (A Kegel is basically the squeeze you do when you’re holding your pee.) We sit on the floor and do Kegels. “Concentrate,” she instructs us.
10:28 “How did that feel?” Bornstein asks. “Quite honestly,” one girl confesses, “it just made me horny.”
10:30 Bornstein tells us sound makes up another important part to getting in tune with the energy in our bodies and the location of the energy. On the board, she’s drawn a stick figure with colored circles all up and down it. “The red is your ‘root energy’,” she explains, pointing to a red circle at the crotch of the figure. “The energy travels up. And different sounds correspond to different areas.”
10:36 To experience how different sounds affect the body (lower sounds vibrate the “root,” aka the crotch, and higher ones, higher parts, etc.), we stood up to go through the range of orgasm sounds. “In porns, sometimes they film it silently and then put in the sounds afterward,” Bornstein informs us. “So we’re basically going to be looping a porn.”
10:40 After making a range of loud, thick orgasm sounds (and yes, it did “vibrate” all the correct “energy centers,” so to speak), Bornstein comments that we could all be hired for porn. “Thank God for the thick Kresge walls,” one girl says. “Actually,” says another, “they’re not that thick.” “Oh…so they heard us?” “…probably.”
10:45 Bornstein tells us that now the real event happens: We’re going to have a 20 minute breathing session that will end in four or five faster breaths and then “BOOM! Releeeease.” She lies down on the floor to do a short demonstration. “Breathe, and concentrate on your root…let the energy rise out you!” Bornstein motions her hands upward as she loudly heaves in and out through her mouth, letting her voice emit a distinct sound as she exhales. It’s kind of like watching an exorcism. Except it’s an orgasm. Sort of. Bornstein takes the fast breaths and clenches her body—“Hold it. Hold it. Hold it. And RELEASE!” She goes into a fit of giggles. “Your reaction can vary,” she laughs. “Just don’t go in with any expectations.”
11:10 We lie on the ground and start the breathing. I find myself dreading having to do forced mouth breathing-cum-deep throat simulation for twenty minutes. But as time passes, my body starts to tingle with pins and needles all over. I gain a sense of weightlessness, letting Bornstein’s voice and the Indian-influenced techno from her iPod lead me to “see God.” “Contract your PC…,” she murmurs. “Imagine the redness, and let the energy rise.”
11:20?? I’m falling asleep. I think. Is my energy rising??
11:30??? I think I might have blacked out a little. Or fallen asleep? Was I still doing the “deep throat” breathing? I did only get about six hours of sleep the night before.
11:33?? I think some clenching of the bod might have gone on at this point.
11:35?? All I remember is my body convulsing from the overwhelming tingling sensation at some point. And wondering if that was the orgasm part. Then Bornstein saying something about relaxing. I clearly obeyed.
11:50 Bornstein instructs us to slowly roll on our sides and sit up. I realize that it’s nearly noon and that about half of the people in the workshop have already left. “I think I might have blacked out a little,” I confusedly slur to Bornstein. “See?” she says. “Everyone’s reaction is different. Maybe your body produced a little bit of DMT.”
my body produces DMT too.