Photo: Design by Amy Wecker
Dan Persa, NU’s star quarterback and candidate for the Heisman Trophy, has had his name branded on some swanky merch lately. From towering over Chicago on a billboard to having his name emblazoned on seven-pound dumbbells, Persa’s the most attention NU has received since we discovered bisexuals last month. We thought we’d jump on the bandwagon with our own ideas for some PersaStrong swag. From the ridiculous to the semi-realistic, check out our picks after the jump.
1. PersaStrong Football Seat Cushions: Does sitting around at a freezing cold football game, while your Heisman-worthy quarterback is benched, chap your ass? Well at least watch in comfort with your PersaStrong cushion.
2. PersaStrong Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade Blimp: A Macy’s Parade blimp might be his ticket to secure the Heisman Trophy. But make sure to tape up the heel before floating down Seventh Ave, or it might be the second time his foot rains on Northwestern’s parade.
3. PersaNol Touch Lubricant: Tight ends giving you trouble? Try PersaNol brand lubricant, and you’ll be able to slip through any sized hole, just like Dan can.
4. PersaStrong Medical Supplies (casts, boots, wheelchairs, walkers, crutches): Being injured sucks. But not as much as those totally drab and unfashionably grey medical supplies. Spice things up with some purple Persa goodness.
5. PersaStrong Muscle Milk: How do you make this protein-filled, gelatinous mess into an appetizing sports drink? Add some purple dye and slap Danny-boy on it.
6. PersaStrong Halloween Muscle Suit: Unless you have countless disposable hours a day to spend in the gym, you’re not going to be as buff as Persa. Here is your shortcut!
