Jeremy, did you offer to fan Mark Zuckerberg in exchange for a fraudulent account? Just askin'.
Jeremy Romano, we are not quite sure that you exist. Yesterday, you had exactly one Facebook friend. You’re now up to 40! We have contacted some of these new pals, and none of them know who you are. (They are equally unsure as to why they accepted your friend request.)
Here’s why we’re suspicious, JFake:
There are all these hilarious posts on your wall from Rashaun D. Bouyer, starting with this gem: “thanks for the request, y did u do it?” Sounds like you go way back.
1. You’re allegedly a Northwestern senior—yet there’s no one with a name remotely like yours listed in Northwestern’s directory. We tried “Jeremy R*,” “Romano,” and plain old “Jeremy.” The few results we returned that could have been you had Facebook pages of their own.
2. You’re a fan of Northwestern Athletics, the 195, and Mark Zuckerberg. A likely ruse, Jeremy. We just don’t buy it.
3. You don’t list a Northwestern e-mail address, but we know you had to register with one to get on the NU network.
4. There are all these hilarious posts on your wall from Rashaun D. Bouyer, starting with this gem: “thanks for the request, y did u do it?” Sounds like you go way back. And by the way, it is a little weird that the one person who commented on your first and only Facebook status—”finally gave in and made a facebook account” (sic)—does not go to NU.
Buzzard sent you an e-mail this morning to your Yahoo address asking for your NU account, and you know, any proof that you’re not just a heap of binary. Do let us know (we hope we’re wrong!) And remember, people are more vigilant since the Lauren Cohn scandal broke two years ago. She got to 143 friends before everyone was like, Whoa, you are not real! You might not even make it to 44.
