This week’s person you ought to know—a sophomore who lives in Bobb, hates public flatulence, and is wary of people with pet fish.
Sophomore | Medill | Bobb
What’s your vice of choice?
Chick flicks. Unfortunately, I’m drawn to them with all the witty plots. I’m much more in touch with my feelings now. I’ve learned that it’s good to cry.
What do you go downtown for?
I’ve gone to the Museum of Contemporary Art a lot. It’s fun to walk through there because you feel like a pretentious douchebag, and who doesn’t like to feel like that once in a while?
What tops your hook up playlist?
I like the deep cuts of the Baha Men, not that mainstream “Who Let the Dogs Out“ bullshit.
What’s your greatest irrational fear?
I’m terrified of bugs. It’s actually not an irrational fear. Bugs themselves at their normal size don’t scare me, but if a bug was the same size as me I wouldn’t be able to deal with it. Imagine a spider that’s your size; it’s the potential for growth that’s fucking awful.
What’s the one place besides your room you go to be alone?
The bathroom for obvious reasons. I really do feel like a king on a throne when I’m sitting on a toilet.
How do you kick a hangover?
I don’t drink alcohol because I believe it’s the urine of the devil. But if I were to have a hangover and I were to need a cure, it would be a cheeseburger and milk for breakfast.
What tops your college bucket list?
My college bucket list is a lot like the bucket list from the movie. I would just like to hang out with Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman before I graduate because they don’t have much longer on this earth.
If you could room with any fictional character, who would it be?
Stuart Little because he wouldn’t take up much space. I don’t know about mice and their droppings, but at least he wouldn’t take up that much space.
Who do you think Northwestern’s biggest campus celebrity is?
I guess it’s Willie the Wildcat, but I regret saying it because he’s just going to get an even more overinflated ego. He just comes up thinking he can high five anyone.
What is the Tea Party?
A political movement or maybe a loving family perhaps. You have to admire them. They’re constantly looking for truths, even those that have already been proven untrue, and as a journalist I have to respect that. It takes a lot of nerve to double check.
When you were 5, what did you want to be when you were 20?
A college student. When I was five, I was really career-oriented. I was killing it in preschool, like you should have seen me with blocks. I was a motherfucking monster.
What is your deal breaker?
Public flatulence. I absolutely respect it though because it takes a lot of nerve to fart in public but just give me five meters. Maybe there should be a five meter rule.
You meet someone for the first time. What’s the first thing he/she can say/do to impress you?
I miss the days of chivalry. I want a firm handshake and a gaze in the eyes. I feel like I learned a lot from the royal wedding. There’s a level of class and elegance people are missing out on.
What’s your pet peeve?
I just don’t trust people who have fish as pets because, really, what’s the point of keeping a fish? You can’t interact with it. All you’re doing is confining it in a space smaller than what it would have had in a fish store and where it would have had friends.
Who headlines your dream Dillo day?
The Notorious B.I.G. would come back from the dead and perform. Basically if he could have a resurrection, that would definitely one up what even happened with Jesus. I don’t know if he would want to spend his one day back on Earth in Evanston, though.
really gonna call me out like that Rosentits? watch out, Flozell gon’ git you
hey john!
ZBpubliciTy. Good work, el prez.
WTF JON!