Photo: Photo courtesy of Chase Jackson
This week, there are two people you ought to know. Two off-campus junior roommates talk about rooming with the enemy, the 80s, and rim jobs. Check out what they had to say after the jump.
Juniors | Bienen and Weinberg | Off-campus roommates
What’s your vice of choice?
ZR: Smooth jazz.
CJ: Diet Mountain Dew.
Who is your mortal enemy?
ZR: Mark, for both of us.
CJ: He’s our third roommate.
What tops your hook up playlist?
CJ: My Girl Wants to Party All the Time by Eddie Murphy.
ZR: I Wanna Be Your Man by Zapp and Roger.
What’s your greatest irrational fear?
ZR: Waking up with a guy standing next to me, just watching me. My greatest irrational fantasies are hog tying him and being an Evanston hero.
CJ: I always get freaked out about shit sliding underneath my fingernails.
How do you kick a hangover?
CJ: I’m a diabetic. I don’t drink. Do you think you could put a “;)” after my answer?
ZR: 80s workout videos.
If you could room with any fictional character, who would it be?
ZR: Bobby Hill, from King of the Hill.
CJ: Jake the dog from Adventure Time.
What is the Tea Party?
CJ: The only kind of white people I don’t like hanging out with.
ZR: You don’t like hanging out with Nazis.
CJ: That’s true.
ZR: This sounds like something I’d need a Johnny Carson quip for.
When you were 5, what did you want to be when you were 20?
ZR: Zoo Keeper.
CJ: I was coming out of the garbage man phase, and made a brief stop at paleontologist before wanting to become an astronaut.
What’s your deal breaker?
CJ: Somebody that acts dumb for attention.
ZR: Somebody who doesn’t get the 80s.
What turns you on?
CJ: Rim shots and vocal harmonies.
ZR: People are going to think that’s rim jobs. Sensitive smiling.
You meet someone for the first time. What’s the first thing he/she can say/do to impress you?
ZR: “Do you like Rush? I do.”
CJ: “I’ve studied quite a bit philosophy, but I’m getting pretty burned out.”
What’s your pet peeve?
ZR: When people invite me to facebook events that’s like, why would you invite me to this?
CJ: People that drum with their hands.
ZR: That’s me! I’ll try to stop.
If you could change one thing you did in the past year, what would it be?
ZR: Left for the fucksaw demonstration. I went to every after class and the one day I didn’t go was the fucksaw.
CJ: I regret taking Human Sex one year too early.
while I love both of these bros, was the point of this interview just to show off of witty and cool the author’s friends are?
What’s your deal breaker?
CJ: Somebody that acts dumb for attention.
irony at its finest
why are the people that read this site so mean
I think the purpose of this article was to facilitate a discussion of self. On one hand, this article could be interpreted – as T implies – as a shallow attempt of two juniors to gain attention or show off their chops in ironic humor.
What, exactly, does T think that the authors perceive as the gain from this interview? Does he believe they approached NUIntel to be profiled so they can demonstrate once and for all to the shallowest pockets of the NU Community just how smart, funny, and worthwhile they are? Or perhaps to leave an electronic trail that will undoubtedly follow them when they apply for jobs? Or maybe just to move higher up the google search for the word “Fucksaw”?
Rather, it would seem likely that the authors were asked by NUIntel to do the staff a favor and allow themselves to be interviewed as a means of driving up traffic to the website given the relative profile of the two “off campus juniors”. And it is laudable that rather than answer with serious answers – which would validate the stupidity of the questions – or completely irony – and present themselves as smug – the respondents toe the ambiguous line between reality and absurdity. This serves as a commentary on contrived nature of student profiles – is the goal for the reader feel envious of just how cool these two are, pride that they go to school with such outstanding individuals, or voyeuristically worship the future members of DERU from the comfort of their own laptop?
Just as the stars of reality TV are presented as subhuman objects for our entertainment, such profiles typically distill complex, interesting humans down to little more than stereotypes. Bravo to these two for defying such dehumanization, even if many were unable to grasp the complex desire behind their answers.
I wish I had my own Chase & Zach paper dolls.
Dude, FUCK A&O.
THEY NEVER BRING CREED.
And what is this Pegasus Brandy shit?