This week’s person you ought to know—a senior who wants to spend an afternoon skinny dipping and hooks up to 90′s tunes.
What tops your hook up playlist?
I would have to go with Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch, or basically just a lot of early 90’s terrible songs with rap breaks in the middle.
What tops your college bucket list?
Day skinny dipping. Everyone does it at night, I want to go in the middle of the day.
If you could room with any fictional character, who would it be?
I would probably be roommates with Cher from Clueless because she has the best closet I have ever seen.
If you could change one thing you did in the past year, what would it be?
Probably taking five of my guy friends to a strip club. I feel like some of us might have gotten diseases from that experience.
What is your favorite expletive, and why?
My favorite expletive has got to be shit muffin, just because if old ladies catch the end of what you’re saying, it doesn’t sound so bad!
What is the worst thing that could happen on a date?
If he vomited on me, that would probably be the worst thing. The vomit tops it all.
Which teen idol are you smitten with?
Zac Efron, if that still counts.
What are your plans for December 21, 2012?
I would go scuba diving in a vat of André with a bunch of Abercrombie models.
Describe your hidden talent.
I can make balloon animals really well, I can make pretty much anything. The best thing I can make is a stegosaurus.
What invention would the world be better off without, and why?
Purses that are large enough for dogs. It freaks me out. Really, the world would be better without small dogs.
You switch places with Morton for a day. What’s at the top of your to-do list?
Enforce the brothel law just to see what kind of shit is launched.
Give us your thoughts on Sperry Top-Siders, Hunter boots, and Longchamp totes.
I’m from the South so they remind me of home which reminds me of unplanned pregnancy, adolescent alcoholism, and football.
If you could balance on a tightrope, over what landscape would you walk?
I would walk over the San Francisco Bay to Alcatraz by myself.
Make a bold prediction.
I think that the anonymous person behind the Twitter account @MedillStudent is going to replace Dean John Lavine, but he’s still just going to be a Twitter account, releasing 140 character statements.
What does your drink of choice say about your personality?
My drink of choice is a bottle of André. It says I’m cheap, a lightweight, and really really stingy because I refuse to share my bottle.
