#people you ought to know
McCormick freshman finds Andrew Garfield hot, sings Finnish polka
This week’s person you ought to know—a McCormick freshman who likes the word “bitchtit” — who doesn’t?— and fears being walked in on during a date. more 
McCormick senior kicks hangovers with bacon, wants to add a bar to Norris
This week’s person you ought to know—a McCormick senior and frisbee house resident who regrets his naked run and can’t hook up to songs with lyrics
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SESP sophomore wants to catch a Norris koi and goes to a capella alone
This week’s person you ought to know—a SESP sophomore that hates leg hair, fakes sneezes, and fantasizes about playing for the Oakland A’s. more
Sophomore wants to braid Blago’s hair, does a mean caribou mating call
This week’s person you ought to know—a sophomore who has a love-hate relationship with Segways and watched too much Pinky and the Brain as a 5-year-old. more
Senior dreams of Beyoncé at Dillo Day, wants to start wearing ski goggles around campus
This week’s person you ought to know—a senior who hopes the Mayans were right about 2012 and would save the Keg if given the power to be Morty for a day. more
Sophomore can recite pi to 150 digits, wants to buy Morty rainbow-colored clothing
This week’s person you ought to know—a sophomore who dreamed of becoming Candylands’s Queen Frostine and thinks the world is better off without sporks. more
Junior hooks up to Kidz Bop, dreams of David Blaine-ing himself under ice rink
This week’s person you ought to know—a junior who believes whale songs are the best cure for a hangover and thinks Thomas Edison could have done better than inventing the light bulb. more
Sophomore wants to sleep-watch TV, only drinks tequila
This week’s person you ought to know—the sole male cheerleader in the newly revamped “Wild Pride Spirit Squad,” whose answers reveal an obsession with Lady Gaga and scientifically perfected Hershey’s Kisses.
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Freshman is master of writing backwards, wants to room with Curious George
This week’s person you ought to know—a freshman theatre major who is a connoisseur of White Chocolate Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups and Diet Peach Snapple, and used to think “fucket” was the F-word. more
Junior wants to chill with Obama, think ‘Cats are headed to Rose Bowl
This week’s person you ought to know—a junior who never gets hungover, loves Willow Smith, and wants to prank all of campus. more
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