#polls
Readers suggest Northwestern bring Obama, Chet Haze to campus
Who says the administration doesn’t like to listen to Northwestern students? Okay, you do. I mean, Morty got us an ice rink, but when is it ever open, and who uses it besides Evanston kids and their parents? But maybe the admins do listen to us more than we think. The Undergraduate Budget Priorities Committee asked administrators last year to support a speakers series that would bring big names to campus, and voilà, this year we have the Contemporary Thought Speaker Series. Harvard psychology professor Steven Pinker was selected to give the inaugural speech next Tuesday, February 20; you can purchase free tickets for the event starting today at the Norris Box Office. With the news that the admins take student input seriously, we needed to ask you, loyal readers, what six-figure celebrities you’d want to bring to campus. Some of the answers were expected big players: President Obama, Beyoncé, Jon Stewart. And then some of you suggested students who, let’s be serious, could hardly command six figs. Check out all of the answers in an easy-to-digest graphic after the jump. more 
Readers suggest occupying the Keg, transferring schools
Yes, it’s hard to believe, but it’s already been a week since Mayor Tisdahl revoked the liquor license of our favorite TKOE. The unimaginable has quickly become reality. So what are students to do? Well, that’s what we asked you, loyal readers. Some of your answers were predictable: cry, promptly transfer schools, die, laugh, and go to the Deuce. Others proved you haven’t gotten over your school-boy humor and answered “sluts” and “no one.” We think the latter is more likely. And then there’s one of you who said, “Jump off the room of NMQ, head first.” Should we be concerned enough to call CAPS? See all of the answers in our easy-to-digest graphic after the jump. more
Readers want to drink with Fat Albert, Deandre Cole
A&O’s winter speaker, Kenan Thompson, has been crafting comedic characters since he first appeared on All That in 1994. So you, loyal readers, had many choices when we asked which Kenan character you’d most like to have a drink with. Some answers we expected: Fat Albert, Deandre Cole, DJ Dynasty Handbag. Then, there’s the one reader who asked “What is Kenan?” and another who answered “Kel.” You realize we’re talking about his other half, right? But what we’re most surprised about: no one answered our all-time favorite Kenan character, Virginiaca Hastings. See the full graphic for all of the answers after the jump. more
Readers can’t agree on what frat would give Intel a bid
Once thing is certain: you think we’re fratty. Well, to phrase it more accurately, you—loyal readers—don’t see us as sorortastic, which we have to admit is a little upsetting. You mean we spent all this time on our hair and agonized over the decision between a kelly green or chartreuse cardigan for no reason? Just three of you said we’d get a bid down south. Our favorite of course was “Gamma Phi Beyoncé.” But even with all the frat suggestions, there was little consensus. Are we more Lodge or Fiji? Or maybe we’re more like Beta because, as one reader put it: “they love gossip.” Check out all of the answers in our easy-to-digest graphic after the jump. more
Readers offer Greek stereotypes, somewhat helpful advice for recruitment
Ah, rush. The one time each year when Northwestern turns into a beautiful Darwinian experiment. And it’s a show that never fails to impress: puking, crying, laughing, passing out. The emotional roller coaster is almost too much to handle. Who are we kidding? We eat this shit up—and so do you. So in our effort to not be completely self-serving, and actually offer you some recruitment help, we asked you, loyal Intel readers, to share the biggest rush faux pas. Some of your answers were conventional (“accidentally bringing up a boy you both hooked up with”), others were grounding (“thinking you’re too cool”), and, of course, then there’s the stereotypes (“being fat”). See the complete list of answers in our handy graphic after the jump. more
Intel readers occupy Evanston locales, social networks, body cavities
Fall has become the season of “Occupy.” Last week, the invasion made its way to campus as NU’s bandwagoners activists took up the cause. Seeing as Occupy aligns itself as a movement of the masses, we asked you, our loyal Intel readers, to tell us what you occupy. It turns out you occupy some interesting places. Many of you references typical E-town locales (Church Street, TKOE,) relevant occupy sites (unemployment lines,) and party spots (the Fridge basement). And then there’s the obligatory sexual references to body cavities and sex acts. Per usual, several users thought the submit box was the search bar, but we forgive you, it happens. Check out all the answers in our handy graphic after the jump. more
Readers want to sink their teeth into Chicken Shack, Chet Haze
Still full from Big Bite Night? We kid. The sampler portions of edamame and ice cream (talk about a delicious combination) aren’t big enough to fill a small child. We’re also well aware that Big Bite Night happened more than a week ago now. But with food—and other things—on our mind, we asked you, loyal Intel readers, what you’d like to take a big bite out of. Some of your answers were conventional—Chicken Shack, Andy’s, pizza, Four Loko (yes, it’s a liquid, but we’ll let this one slide)—while others were just hilarious—Coach Fitz, Chet Haze, James and the Giant Peach. And then there’s the handful of you who still think our submission box is the search bar. Check out all of the answers after the jump. more
Intel readers want sex, Kim Kardashian for Dillo Day
In the last installment of our weekly poll, we asked you to tell us your Dillo Day desires. Surprise, surprise, they aren’t that different from your real-life desires. It’s all about sex, baby. Mayfest, take note. The graphic, after the jump. more
Intel readers would hide from Feds in really obvious places
While most of the campus was still riding high off of Osama bin Laden’s death, we asked readers: If you were on the run from the Feds, where would you hide? Check out all of your (really obvious) ideal hiding places, after the jump. more
Readers name their derby horses after Northwestern scandals, regular people
If you name a horse Fucksaw, it just has to be a winner, right? Surely that has to better than “Horse” or “Frank.” But maybe not, according to y’all. Last week we asked readers what they would name their own Kentucky Derby horse, and the answers ranged from the bizarre (“robotic pirate monkey”) to the classic (“Princess Rosa”) to the B-list campus celebrity. The full graphic list, after the jump. All we know is that we wouldn’t mind crossing the finish line by riding “Sexytimes at Northwestern.” more
Older
Latest Comment
HOW BRAZEN of you Shayna Starr. don't want people to know you wrote this garbage? Good thing I already got ...